Wayne Maines is the father of identical twins: a boy and a girl. They are young adults now, navigating their paths toward college and careers, but it hasn't been an easy path for any of them. The twins were born as boys, Wyatt and Jonas. At age 2, Wyatt insisted that she was a girl. Over the course of a journey that would involve classrooms, courtrooms and turmoil in their own home, Wyatt became Nicole, twin sister to her brother.
     At a March 17 conference in Machias, Creating a Community of Compassion and Manifesting Equity for LGBTQ Youth, a packed room of individuals, professionals in healthcare, social services and education listened in rapt attention to Maines. Maines, who is a burly man, describes himself as from a conservative background and choked up when discussing the lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer or questioning (LGBTQ) youth trying to come to terms with their identities. "A 3 year old does know who they are," he told the audience, while showing a slide show of his daughter's progression from toddler to young adult. Maines described the grieving process coming to terms with Nicole's identity.
     Maines and his wife had been blessed when they adopted the two healthy baby boys, a dream come true, he explained, that was hard to relinquish. But a small act that parents and grandparents do almost automatically, extending both his hands to his young children at a Walmart parking lot, changed his grieving to joy. He told the audience that Jonas looked at him like he was nuts, too old to be holding hands with his father. "Nicole reached for my hand and I thought, "I have a daughter,'" a daughter who will always welcome holding his hand.
     "Kids are dying," Maines told the audience, because of a lack of awareness, support and compassion for the LGBTQ community.
      The conference organizers hoped that the event would become a catalyst for change in Washington County. Overall they felt the goals were met, with organizer Sharon Dean saying, "There is a strong community of compassionate, committed people who care about each other and will continue to work to make this community a safe place for everyone to live, and be affirmed and have a good life."
      The second keynote speaker, attorney Zack Paakkonen, spoke about the legal issues relating to LGBTQ youth and adults. Paakkonen is transgender himself and wove his own story into his presentation about the laws protecting LGBTQ students in Maine. He presents at workshops around the nation. Additional presenters were Lin Gould, an educator and Gay, Straight and Transgender Alliance (GSTA) club adviser at Mount Desert Island (MDI) High School; Lindsey Piper, a nurse practitioner at Mabel Wadsworth Center; and Anne Leaver, a dually‑licensed mental health, alcohol and drug counselor with training in clinical pastoral counseling.

Challenges, surprises and next steps
      After the day was over, challenges were identified by the conference's organizers. Eastport Health Care CEO Holly Gartmayer‑DeYoung says that fear and isolation are exacerbated by "the lack of understanding throughout the whole community about the basics of gender, sexuality and identity [that] create an environment which is predominantly cautious and suspicious and, at worse, hostile and dangerous for many gender non‑conforming people." Anne O'Brien, a psychiatric nurse practitioner, is very concerned about the high rates of depression and suicide in LGBTQ youth.
       Kathleen Dunbar, a dental hygienist, says of the challenges, "I think the top one would be the lack of diversity and exposure, real or imagined. We certainly have a lack of racial diversity here. But there is also a perception among some that we don't have a large LGBTQ population, and I don't think that's true. A lot of people are still afraid to be open here. Therefore it may give the impression to people that they don't know many LGBTQ people, and they actually do." The additional top challenge Dunbar notes is shared by many: "Lack of access to healthcare and social services. This applies to everyone, LGBTQ or not. You may live somewhere that requires you to drive many miles for care, and that might not be financially possible."
      There were surprises encountered. "I was surprised to realize the strength of what is in place, particularly the Maine Human Rights Act. This gives me great hope," says Gartmayer‑DeYoung. Dean adds, "I was surprised how close to the surface everyone's pain is. LGBTQ people, and family and friends who love them, have suffered much over the years. Even when things seems to be settled and going well, it doesn't take much to scratch that veneer and bring the pain back to the surface again." O'Brien was pleased to find that the county has some counselors and medical providers who "have experience with and availability for LGBTQ treatment."
      Next steps will include: continuing the GSTA Community Circle, one of a number of health‑related community circles started by Gartmayer‑DeYoung; renewing the PFLAG (parents families and friends of lesbians and gays) presence in all of Washington County for parents, families and friends; establishing GSTA (gay straight trans alliance) groups in all schools; providing education for those in helping roles such as educators, healthcare providers, spiritual and religious advisers and public safety staff. Dunbar explains, "LGBTQ youth need a better support system, and that's a start."
      Dunbar sums up the benefits of such conferences and smaller workshops, "I think everyone that lives in Washington County already knows what a compassionate and special place it is. It was great to have participants from so many fields C mental health, education and even some individuals representing religious organizations. The more people from various fields who really care deeply for the LGBTQ community, especially youth, the better quality of life the youth will have."
      The conference was presented by the Washington County Community Circle for GSTAs and Sunrise Opportunities, in cooperation with the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, Eastport Health Center, Mabel Wadsworth Center, Healthways/Regional Medical Center at Lubec and advisers and students from MDI High School. It was made possible by a grant from the Maine Health Access Foundation.